The Last Days of being Young, Urban, and Totally Sober

Posted on April 1, 2012 by The Young Urban Unprofessional

Thursday night I headed to my buddy’s house to watch the Bruins vs Capitals hockey game. I prefer social events like this one because it’s usually just good friends hanging out and having a few beers, a situation where drinking is very much secondary (or tertiary) to the game or conversation. Normally I would have enjoyed a beer or so per period and then headed home tired and slightly buzzed. However, Thursday night I stuck to water (and a full bag of Tostitos with salsa). There was one other person just drinking water so I felt better about not drinking. As with my other sober social events I still felt the need to explain myself, “I’m doing this 30 day life experiment…”

Friday night I had plans to go rock climbing and meet up with friends at the bar but then last minute I got a chance to gear up for a hike up Mt Washington on Saturday so obviously I packed up and headed north. Sober month or not sober month, adventures take precedence. However, adventures usually end with victory beers or a flask of whiskey to share with friends at the campsite. The hike ended up being UNBELIEVABLE (stay tuned for photo evidence). I have never seen such amazing conditions in the white mountains, especially on Washington which has notoriously horrible weather.

Unbelievable conditions on Mt Washington. Yes I'm in a tshirt and yes it's from Dysarts in Bangor, ME.

Just another picture to help illustrate how amazing the conditions were on Mt Washington.

I felt strong, fit, and motivated. It was an added bonus to have such phenomenal weather. Having finished the hike by 2pm we then drove back to Boston so as not to miss out on the night life. I had plans to hang out with friends at the Middle East to see some live music.

In the last few days leading up to the conclusion of my 30 day life experiment of “Young, Urban, and Totally Sober” I thought about what I would do at 12:01am on Sunday April 1st. Would I have a mug beer from Parish Cafe, would I end up having a $2 PBR with the hipsters at the Middle East, or would I enjoy a straight glass of bourbon? It was quickly approaching midnight and I wasn’t sure I’d make it due to hiking Washington that day. I was sore, tired, and just generally beat. However, I made it to 12:01am and my friends cheered for me and I bought a beer.

My first alcoholic beverage in 30 days, Harpoon IPA at the Middle East.

My first beer in 30 days was a bit anticlimactic because we left the bar about 5 minutes after I got my beer. The last band was pretty bad so it made sense to take off, I’m not sure how long I could have tolerated it to be honest (both staying awake and having to listen to more of that band). Also, I was really too tired to properly enjoy the beer, all I really wanted to do was to go to bed and sleep for 12 hours.

This month’s 30 day life experiment was certainly a positive experience. I learned how to enjoy hanging out with friends and celebrate adventures without alcohol. I think it helped me recalibrate how I have fun and enjoy events. I started to recognize throughout the month that many of my friends routinely stay sober at parties. One friend who was dancing at the bar I had assumed was drunk. However, it turned out that she was stone cold sober, just having a really good time and getting her groove on. Another friend hosted a party at her house but she drank nothing but OJ and water. Alcohol can certainly lubricate conversation but being as extroverted as I am, I didn’t find it to be a problem. I still think that my conversational french is still better a bit buzzed but aside from that I didn’t notice any difference in the amount of fun I was having. I had plenty of fun, saved a bunch of money, and lost a few pounds but ultimately this 30 day sober life experiment it showed me that being young, urban, and totally sober is a perfectly acceptable thing to do.

Day 27 – Paid Someone’s Bill at a Dunkin Donuts Drive-Thru

Posted on January 31, 2012 by The Young Urban Unprofessional

We spent the entire day ice climbing in NH and on the way back we stopped at a Dunkin Donuts to get some coffee. We usually stop at White Mountain Bagel because they’re both awesome and local, however, they closed at 3pm so we opted for D&D literally across the street. While in line I saw that someone was at the drive-thru waiting at the window. I first asked the cashier what the order was for the car waiting outside. It was around $3 so I told her to put their bill on my card and then to tell the car that it was a random act of kindness.

It was cool to hear the conversation between the Dunkin Donuts cashier and the driver because I could only hear the cashier, “No you don’t have to pay for it. No, someone inside paid it for you. No I don’t think they know you, it was a random act of kindness.” I felt solid about this one because the driver truly seemed perplexed and not expecting it, definitely a random act. I also liked the reaction of my two new friends who I had ice climbed with that day. It’s one thing to help someone who is truly in need, that makes a lot of sense. However, to see someone randomly pick up the tab for someone else, literally for no reason, shocked them a bit I think. They weren’t ready for it, but they totally understood after I explained the life experiment to them.

The last time I paid someone’s coffee bill I was in northern Maine (read: pretty much Canada) and it seemed to go over well so I was really interested in trying it somewhere else to see what the reaction was. The reaction seemed similar from what I could tell except that this time I was with my friends instead of my family so it was definitely a different experience. Maybe some exposure to random acts of kindness will lead them to do their own random acts, or at least better recognize situations that warrant kind acts themselves, random or not.

Day 21 – Paid Someone’s Highway Toll

Posted on January 26, 2012 by The Young Urban Unprofessional

The morning after hot tubing at my buddies house, my group of four other stoked ice climbers headed north in search of some fat ice flows. On the way the discussion in the car converged on my random acts of kindness challenge and what I was going to do for that day. I start each day the same way, having no idea what I’m going to do for my random act. Usually it’s 8 or 9pm before actually I do it. I wonder whether it’s because the most opportunities exist around that time, or (more likely) because I’m under the gun for completing a random act of kindness before the end of the day and I don’t have much time left. So perhaps out of necessity, after 8pm is when I’m the most aware and cognizant of the environment around me.

Today on the way to New Hampshire I decided that I would complete my act earlier rather than later considering we would be out ice climbing all day. So on the way through one of the toll booths I had my buddy (the driver of the Honda Fit) drive through an EZ Pass/Cash lane as opposed to an EZ Pass Only lane so that I could leave a dollar to pay the toll for the next person behind us. I had my buddy say to the toll booth attendant, “Hey, here’s the toll fare for the next person that comes through. It’s a random act of kindness.” The toll booth guy kind of laughed and said, “Yeah sure” and we pulled away.

It was of much debate in the car as to whether the toll booth attendant would actually use that dollar on the next car (there weren’t any cars immediately behind us) or whether he would just pocket it for himself. I guess there’s no guarantee that my random act of kindness ever came to fruition. I’d like to think that he carried out my act but honestly who knows. Was his sense of altruism worth more than a dollar?

We then launched into a debate about “trust” in a city versus a small town. Where I’m from this type of behavior is pretty normal and I wouldn’t have doubted this guy for a second. However, being just outside of Boston, myself and my friends in the car immediately questioned his intentions and his overall character. I wanted to be able to trust him but there’s really no way to tell for sure. That’s just life in a city I suppose, you have to be a little bit more aware of the intentions of those around you. Unlike doing the same thing in Maine, I’ll likely never see that guy again, so what’s his incentive to carry out my random act of kindness? The answer is that I’m not sure. All I know is that my intentions were the same, hopefully that dollar had the chance to be a nice surprise for the next car that came through.