7 Tips for How to Live Young, Urban, and Totally Sober

Each month I create a Twitter List for that life experiment’s topic and I follow as many people as I can.  It helps me to stay current on the topic and to learn as much as I can in a fairly short period of time.  One thing I noticed during this month was that there are VERY FEW resources out there to help people stay sober as compared to topics like environmentalism or random acts of kindness.  Perhaps promoting sobriety just isn’t a lucrative venture so not many people do it.  There are a couple of popular resources for drug addicts on Twitter but I could hardly find anything besides Alcoholics Anonymous for boozing.  Although, following Alcoholics Anonymous is a bit ironic because it’s no longer anonymous once you start following them on Twitter, it kind of defeats the purpose.

I was able to find roughly ZERO resources for sober living in Boston which was really too bad considering it’s filled with a few hundred thousand students under 21.  There should definitely be more online resources promoting things that aren’t drinking.  LivingSocial and Groupon do a good job at offering fun things to do in the city but there’s no resource explicitly devoted to sobriety as there are with the other experiments I’ve done: environmental, conversation, random acts of kindness, vegetarianism, etc.

With that being said, here are a few things that I learned throughout the month about being sober in Boston.  I distilled them down into 7 tips that helped me stay sober for 30 days in an urban setting.  It is by no means a comprehensive list and nor will it work for everyone, but here it is nonetheless.

  1. Go on a weekend adventure.  For me, my heaviest periods of drinking are certainly on the weekends.  I find that getting out of the city for the weekend has drastically reduced my exposure to alcohol.  So weekend adventures really helped me avoid scenarios that are typically synonymous with alcohol consumption: bars, restaurants, boredom, etc.
  2. Find out what your “anti-drunk” is.  Find an activity that helps you to replace and avoid drinking.  My anti-drunk throughout college was the Tufts Mountain Club.  I spent many weekends exercising and/or just hanging out at the Loj in New Hampshire that otherwise would have been filled with binging weekends in Boston.  After graduation I’ve started to realize how awesome that resource actually was.  I’ve continued to use the Loj as a basecamp to avoid partying too hard in Boston.  There’s certainly a time and a place for partying hard but spending every weekend in the city would be just too much for my liver (and my wallet).  Hiking trips work for me, find something that works for you.
  3. Avoid the “Just Because” beer.  I often fall into the habit of drinking beer just because: “Just got home from work, I’ll have a beer.”  “Cooking dinner, might as well have a beer.”  “Watching the bruins game, I should go get a beer.”  “I’m doing laundry, time for beer.” and the list goes on.  This was probably a more difficult habit to break than drinking at the bar or at parties.  I’ve gotten into such a habit of the “just because” beer, I mean why not right?  The reality is that avoiding these “just because” beers has saved me a bunch of money and calories both add up although saving $ is more important to me than adding pounds to my figure.
  4. Upcycle your alcohol habit.  I had been keeping a few liquor bottles around for no particular reason so I decided that I’d upcycle them to hold bamboo plants.  There was something about acknowledging my affinity for liquor and turning it into something green that was particularly satisfying. Owning up to how much you’re drinking is key to moving past it to a more tolerable or regulated habit, doing something positive about it (even though small) is even better.
  5. Drink out of red solo cups at parties.  All people really notice at parties is if you’re drinking or not drinking.  I found myself fairly uncomfortable not drinking   It wasn’t so much because I wasn’t drinking booze that I felt uncomfortable, it was because I’ve become so accustomed to holding a drink in my hand while having fun.  I felt weird having both hands free.  However, I found that no one knew and no one cared what I was drinking or how much of it I was drinking.  Therefore, the red solo cup kept my hands busy while helping me to assimilate into the drinking culture without actually drinking alcohol.  I had just as much fun without the alcohol (and had significantly better morning-afters).
  6. Avoid keeping beer in the beer fridge.  Perhaps having a beer fridge in the first place is a poor step in the direction of curbing a drinking habit.  We have a beer fridge and it was pretty much empty the entire month.  Not having access to beer in my apartment certainly helped to avoid the desire to drink one.  I do the same thing with food, if it’s there I’ll eat it.  Same with quantities of food, if it’s there I’ll eat it.  The same idea translates to beer for me, “It’s there, why not.”  So by not resupplying the beer fridge each week I was able to easily follow Tip #3: Avoid the “Just Because” Beer.
  7. Don’t drink non-alcoholic beer.  It’s just not worth it, don’t do it.

I definitely think my sober month has changed my perspective on partying and having a good time.  I still like beer and whiskey but from now on I don’t think I’ll feel weird about not drinking at a bar, party, restaurant, hockey game etc.  I highly recommend trying a sober month, I saved a bunch of money, lost a few pounds, and generally just feel fantastic, there’s not too many down sides.

Here is that Twitter List I was talking about.  It’s a compilation of Twitter users related to sobriety, some are pretty helpful and others are pretty useless.  Check it out and join the conversation:

The Last Days of being Young, Urban, and Totally Sober

Thursday night I headed to my buddy’s house to watch the Bruins vs Capitals hockey game.  I prefer social events like this one because it’s usually just good friends hanging out and having a few beers, a situation where drinking is very much secondary (or tertiary) to the game or conversation.  Normally I would have enjoyed a beer or so per period and then headed home tired and slightly buzzed.  However, Thursday night I stuck to water (and a full bag of Tostitos with salsa).  There was one other person just drinking water so I felt better about not drinking.  As with my other sober social events I still felt the need to explain myself, “I’m doing this 30 day life experiment…”

Friday night I had plans to go rock climbing and meet up with friends at the bar but then last minute I got a chance to gear up for a hike up Mt Washington on Saturday so obviously I packed up and headed north.  Sober month or not sober month, adventures take precedence.  However, adventures usually end with victory beers or a flask of whiskey to share with friends at the campsite.  The hike ended up being UNBELIEVABLE (stay tuned for photo evidence).  I have never seen such amazing conditions in the white mountains, especially on Washington which has notoriously horrible weather.

Unbelievable conditions on Mt Washington. Yes I'm in a tshirt and yes it's from Dysarts in Bangor, ME.

Just another picture to help illustrate how amazing the conditions were on Mt Washington.

I felt strong, fit, and motivated.  It was an added bonus to have such phenomenal weather.  Having finished the hike by 2pm we then drove back to Boston so as not to miss out on the night life.  I had plans to hang out with friends at the Middle East to see some live music.

In the last few days leading up to the conclusion of my 30 day life experiment of “Young, Urban, and Totally Sober” I thought about what I would do at 12:01am on Sunday April 1st.  Would I have a mug beer from Parish Cafe, would I end up having a $2 PBR with the hipsters at the Middle East, or would I enjoy a straight glass of bourbon?  It was quickly approaching midnight and I wasn’t sure I’d make it due to hiking Washington that day.  I was sore, tired, and just generally beat.  However, I made it to 12:01am and my friends cheered for me and I bought a beer.

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My first alcoholic beverage in 30 days, Harpoon IPA at the Middle East.

My first beer in 30 days was a bit anticlimactic because we left the bar about 5 minutes after I got my beer. The last band was pretty bad so it made sense to take off, I’m not sure how long I could have tolerated it to be honest (both staying awake and having to listen to more of that band).  Also, I was really too tired to properly enjoy the beer, all I really wanted to do was to go to bed and sleep for 12 hours.

This month’s 30 day life experiment was certainly a positive experience.  I learned how to enjoy hanging out with friends and celebrate adventures without alcohol.  I think it helped me recalibrate how I have fun and enjoy events. I started to recognize throughout the month that many of my friends routinely stay sober at parties.  One friend who was dancing at the bar I had assumed was drunk.  However, it turned out that she was stone cold sober, just having a really good time and getting her groove on.  Another friend hosted a party at her house but she drank nothing but OJ and water.  Alcohol can certainly lubricate conversation but being as extroverted as I am, I didn’t find it to be a problem.  I still think that my conversational french is still better a bit buzzed but aside from that I didn’t notice any difference in the amount of fun I was having.  I had plenty of fun, saved a bunch of money, and lost a few pounds but ultimately this 30 day sober life experiment it showed me that being young, urban, and totally sober is a perfectly acceptable thing to do.

Sober Weekend #3: Crappy Pizza Tastes Way Better When You’re Not Sober

On Friday after work I met up with two of my buddies for a rock climbing session at MetroRock.  After a solid three hours of crushing it we opted for food and beer at RedBones afterward.  RedBones is a place where mass quantities of excellent meat (pulled pork sandwiches hmmmm) meets freely flowing beer taps (30oz mugs?!), basically it’s heaven.  It was obvious that I wasn’t going to be drinking any beer but the thing that surprised me the most was that I was actually jonesing for a veggie burger.  The me from 6-months-ago NEVER would have ordered a veggie burger (let’s put it in a time frame: EVER), let alone a veggie burger at a BBQ joint like RedBones, it’s borderline sacrilegious.  Nonetheless that’s what I ordered, it also helped that one member of our trio was a vegetarian.  I figured I’d also try out one of their non-alcoholic beers because I’ve never actually had one.  As long as I was on this sober month I might as well give it a try.

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Turns out O'Douls is pretty nasty, it's like a crappy rendition of PBR, something I'm sure not even hipsters would tolerate. Thanks to Ryan for rubbing it in in the background :)

The next day Sarah got back from a trip to New Orleans and she had bought me a flask.  I’ve wanted one for a while so it was an excellent gift, although an excellent gift that will have to wait until April 1st at 12:01am.

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Then Saturday night my friends were having a Ke$ha-themed party for our friend’s bday.  It mostly involved a lot of glitter, which I’m still trying to get out of my hair.  The plan was for everyone to party at our friend’s apartment and then to hit up Phoenix Landing, a bar meant for sweaty dancing and 80s/90s/top 40 songs.  I was kind of excited to go experience the glory that is Phoenix Landing as a sober person because I’m sure very few people have witnessed it sober.  When we got to the bar the line was outrageously long so we made peace with the fact it’d take an hour to get inside so we decided to go back to my friends apartment and resume the party with beer pong and more Ke$ha.

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Sober beer pong, not sure I've ever done that before this weekend...

Maybe it was just me being sober, but drinking out of the cups seemed pretty gross after watching a half dozen dozen people slobber all over them.   I’ve never really cared much to think about it but I’m sure it’s a great way to get mono.  I prefer having my own side beer and filling the cups with water anyway.  For this game I stuck to my tasty, yet sans alcohol, fruit drink.

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We ended up losing the game, I'm sure my skills were off because I was sober, all my training throughout college was under the influence so I'm not surprised we got smoked by our opponents.

On the way back to the T going home, we stopped by a great late-night pizza place because we had the munchies.  It was then that I learned that drunk food definitely tastes better when you’re drunk.

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Late night pizza tastes WAY better when you're not sober. Definitely gross, definitely ate it anyway, #SorryImNotSorry

I rounded out the weekend with some live blues at the Beehive in the South End.  The event is free but generally involves food and beer as an expectation for attending the event.  We stood around watching the show for about an hour before finally getting a table but it was totally worth it because we were front row, pretty excellent.

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Front row for blues at the Beehive.

The waiter came by and asked us what we would like for beer or cocktails and we all ordered waters.  I definitely felt weird about not ordering a drink and we definitely got a hesitant weird look from the waiter in return.  A bourbon on the rocks seemed much more appropriate for blues music but water would have to suffice for tonight.  It was interesting to be at the Beehive and not be drinking.  It’s such a cultural norm to drink during entertainment and it felt a bit bizarre to simply ask for water.  I felt fine about it because I also ordered their poutine which was fantastic.  It was no Dysarts poutine but it was good nonetheless.

2-10-12: Drinking and Youtube at Work

Dream:  There was a huge drinking problem at work.  People didn’t even bat an eye seeing a machinist or engineer putting down a few beers while working on a high tech piece of equipment.  Our organization definitely tips toward the older end of the age spectrum and not being able to smoke in the office was bad enough, but now no drinking too?  The culture of drinking beer (or liquor) at work was deeply engrained.

I was sitting in a meeting with a group of people trying to figure this issue out.  How do we change the drinking culture at our organization?  Someone mentioned, “All people do here is get drunk and cruise on Facebook and Youtube.”  I had just watched some instructional videos on Youtube about how to fix my guitar so I did some searching for videos about how to fix a drinking culture in the workplace.  I found tons of videos which could be used to our benefit.  I suggested that we have lunchtime Youtube video sessions that showed high performing offices that don’t have employees who drink during the workday.

I’ve learned a lot through Youtube: how to wire a lamp, how to change a road bike tire, how to solder my electric guitar pickups, and now how to curb the drinking habit in the workplace.  In my dream it seemed like a sure-fire way to fix the problem.